laureleyechoes | PSL Corner!

That-- was not what he'd expected.

He blinks, eyes wide and breath stuttering in his lungs underneath Seto-- but Esteban allows the moment to pass and the quiet to linger, while his too-loud thoughts stumble all across each other. That's... fiiiine? He'll pick them up later.

His focus comes, instead, to Seto's locket, and the small picture captured within it.

Mokuba's hair is still a wild nest of thick, fluffy strands, as it clearly was when he was younger. But the Mokuba in the picture has an easier smile, a brightness that has turned sharper with his age, and with the experiences he's grown up with.

He looks soft-- babyfat still clinging to his cheeks, eyes shimmering with something unnamed. Better than joy. More deep than love. Unbroken and unmarred by the hand of cards that life had dealt him. Dealt them both.

Esteban's touch skitters along Seto's, and he pauses at his wrist, letting the locket's chain tease across his hand. Reverently, he does not touch Seto's treasure.

The only words he can find only serve to state the obvious.

"Mokuba loves you so much," he agrees, squeezing Seto tighter around his ribs.

It's not truly what needs to be said, and he knows Seto loves his little brother just as much. But sometimes, it's still nice to hear the obvious. To know and acknowledge the depths of the feelings there. His hand traces the inside of Seto's arm as it slowly tickles lower.

Edited (Typo) 2024-04-23 03:30 (UTC)

Seto curls up on Esteban, content where he is. Soft in the glow of the love he feels for his brother and his soulmate...his family. He snuggles in, gently stroking a strand of his lover's hair as he peers into his eyes. He wants to remember these expressions forever...

...and he will. He leans in for another soft kiss. As he thinks, he gently squeezes the locket, letting it rest between them in his hand for a few moments more.

"He does. And so do you, and I...want to show the world, soon. I can't exactly walk around shirtless all day, so the charm will have to do."

Well. That turned from wholesome to a teeeeeny tiny bit horny real fast. Esteban can't help the tease that bubbles and fizzles on his lips, along with his grin.

"Aww~ I w'ldn't mind 'f you did~" he snickers, before pressing his smile up into Seto's hair. Their tangled hands drop back against Esteban's chest, the locket clinking just a breath away from Seto's nose.

"Y' don't have t' tell the world though." He mentions, because he's not sure if Seto ever felt... pressured about it. Caught in the need to express this feeling publicly.

Esteban doesn't care about that.

"I know you do." He see it. He notices.

Esteban is an uniquely privilleged individual in how Seto lets him in. Lets him see his emotions, lets him see, without filters, the good and the bad of his life. Lets him see the shards that have been broken, and know about the things Seto is not proud of. He hopes he can convey this, convey it all with just the few words on his tongue.

"I know you do. An' that's enough for me. That we're both happy t'gether. That we both found each other."

He punctuates his words with a kiss-- soft and light; barely a peck of lips to lips. But it says enough.

Seto is so lucky to have Esteban. So grateful for how much he understands, for how loving and forgiving he is. He couldn't ask for a better soulmate. And he hopes he conveys that when he squeezes his hand, or when they kiss.

He smiles at his boyfriend's words, giving them a few moments to sink in.

"...I want to, but only if you're sure it's okay. I don't want you to ever think I'm not proud to show you off. I am. I just want you to be safe...I'm already in the spotlight, you're the one who'll get more attention."

He traces his fingers aong Esteban's cheek.

Oh.

He's... never told Seto about this, has he? Esteban lingers in the quiet for a moment, still comfortable, but aware that he should just spit it out already.

"I'm a lil' used to it already," he admits softly, his hand scattering aimless patterns up along Seto's arm. He leans into his lover's touch as he relaxes, enjoying the silk-softness of his hands against his skin.

"My mom's a movie star. Ammy Drake. She's super known in North America."

He doesn't think she's known in Japan, but he hasn't exactly been paying attention.

"I, uh. Basically ditched the medias when I was old 'nough to ask that I live with my dad full-time. But it-- I remember a lot of it."

Feeling both unable to hide and yet unable to be seen at once. His words twisted in his mouth, ten times, twenty times before they made it to the papers. How he'd had to fight the lens of any nearby camera to have his mother's attention.

There's a furrow between his brows at the memory.

"I know what that's like." And honestly, Esteban wants no part of it, really. But he doesn't want to hide either. He doesn't want Seto to face the medias alone-- especially if they make this out to be some clandestine love. Esteban would rip the papers a new one if they dared.

He is so proud to be Seto's lover, to be his soulmate. To be tangled in his life.

"When we're home--" he smiles, the term warming him despite the looming threat the future is imposing on them. "--we'll deal with them. Together. An' on our terms," he settles, willing to push the problem for just a little further, a little later. The medias are not something they can control. Well, maybe Seto, a bit, but not completely.

Best face this bull together than apart.

"We'll still have moments to ourselves," Seto promises, holding onto his lover tightly. "I can evade them. But...we don't have to make a final decision right now."

He tucks his head beneath Esteban's chin, just wanting to be close to him.

"All that matters is that we have each other. Maybe the charm can be our little secret for a little while...no one will guess what it means."

He laughs gently as he sets his locket on the bedside stand again.

"Right? It's brilliant!" His voice is bright and cheerful, and Esteban settles a hand playfully at the small of Seto's back-- slipping underneath cloth to touch skin. But he doesn't push for more, simply lulled into the peaceful quiet between them, the stray touch of skin to skin.

Possibly one of the best reasons to remain stark naked is just to enjoy this-- a closeness that cannot quite be the same with all their clothes in the way. Even if Esteban is the only one bare, it is still nice, and warm, and just a little thrilling to have Seto so close to him. To feel his bodyheat gently seep into his side. Like sunshine, caught underneath his skin.

He lets it dull him. Dull his senses. Time could slip through his hands and Esteban simply doesn't care, because Seto is with him. The world could fade away, and Esteban would be alright with that. A nap would be lovely right about now, and he strongly considers it.

But Seto had brought something up, and Esteban hadn't meant to leave it aside for so long already, and he traces new patterns along Seto's spine again, pondering how to bring it up. His lips get lost again into Seto's hair, and a squeeze and a breath are his only warnings.

"Tell me about the hospital?" he asks, his voice nearly soft enough to pass for a sigh. For all of his boisterousness, Esteban can be quite soft and gentle when he wants to be, clumsily draping his care and love to surround Seto as best he can while he asks about this.

Gozaburo's entire... thing-- trauma, suicide, manipulation, all wrapped up around Seto's like a noose-- Esteban doesn't want him to be hurt by it. He wouldn't ask, in all honesty, if he didn't think it was important for him to hear it. To hear it from Seto, and listen, and be there for him. The way he always will be.

Seto is comforted by his boyfriend's warm presence, and heartened by his confidence. He nuzzles into his collarbone, enjoying that fresh scent and how solid it feels. His hands remain steady, curled into his sides as he clings on.

He needs to feel grounded, especially now...and when his lover speaks again, he wiggles his arms beneath him, clinging tightly enough to feel the vibrations of his voice.

"Back then I was so enraged, so single-minded in my quest for Duel Monsters domination. I threatened Yugi Mutou's grandfather, because he had the last Blue Eyes card in existence. I destroyed the card and threatened him...he could've been badly hurt, or died. I didn't know then that Yugi had the ghost of a dead Pharaoh protecting him, or maybe I would've thought twice..."

He inhales deeply. "The Pharaoh was a harsh judge back then. He challenged me to a duel, and I lost...and as penalty, he shattered my consciousness, leaving me comatose for months. I was trapped in my memories, forced to confront where I'd lost my way. And I didn't awaken until Mokuba gave me the locket. To remind me who I was, and who I needed to be again."

Seto sucks in a deep breath and tightens his jaw. "I promised Mokuba I wouldn't lose sight of him again. It's what guides me."

There is a hum and a shift as Esteban allows the hold to deepen, lifting his shoulders to make it easier for Seto to clutch at him. He knows his boyfriend is bound to lose feeling in his arms soon, but Esteban hardly cares; far too happy at the way he is so intimately aware of Seto against him, the way his arms bracket his ribs and his cheek presses against his shoulder. He can probably hear Esteban's heartbeat-- feel it where it drums against his jaw.

He's at peace. Comfortable. Wrapped up in each other this way. It's perfect.

The heavy darkness that is shared doesn't even touch them, coccooned into this comfort. Secure and safe and warm. He knows that it's a lot-- knows that this hurts Seto in a way that he can hardly imagine. But it doesn't break them apart.

Esteban traces a circle at the small of Seto's back-- vulnerable and soft, and tries to unravel that ball of yarn.

"Yugi Mutou? The Yugi from work?" He asks softly, trying to understand. "You threatened his grandfather?" There's no judgement per say. Only confusion.

"How did he get hurt?" If Seto merely threatened him-- still bad, but words are not actions, and Esteban is really trying to understand this. It won't do for him to have a half-picture and base himself off that.

Seto hardly registers anything except his lover's heartbeat. He wants to be here, wrapped in safety and warmth...it's so painful. But he has to unleash it.

He looks up at Esteban, contrite. "I threatened his life if he wouldn't give me the card. Scared him badly enough that he had a heart attack. Somehow, Yugi forgave me...but I don't think I will."

Shock stiffens him. Rips the mellow ease to shreds, and leaves Esteban gaping. He had not expected that, brows furrowing at the shock and wonder of 'that can happen?'

"Oh, shit-- did he die?"

He winces at his own words, finding his mouth ran so fast there's probably a foot in there already. He presses his hand against the small of Seto's back, palm flat, and thumb rubbing circles in his apology, though he can't find it in himself to say sorry for his crass words.

He needs to know. Rip off the bandage in some ways, but he needs to know.

"No, he's alive," Seto is quick to say, bowing his head. It could have been so much worse. "I don't know if even Yugi would forgive me if he'd died. But...like I said, I was a hateful person then. I didn't have the capacity for empathy."

He laid there for a few moments, reflecting on what he'd done. It had been...rough.

"He listened to my apology, but he's not obligated to accept it. Which I understand."

"Okay." He's still reeling, almost dizzy in his effort to catch up with what Seto has told him.

"... okay." His voice is softer now, slow and calm and quiet. His thumb keeps stroking soft touches across warm skin, his furrow deepening, before Esteban relaxes, and tension seeps out from his limbs. Alright, yeah, he can see why Seto struggles with this.

But still-- it's. It's a card. He can't quite wrap his head around it. That Seto had been so grim and ruthless as to-- what? Threaten and nearly murder an elderly over a card? He can't even phantom why.

His hands stray, the touch of half moons fading, replaced by nameless patterns that teist and wind along Seto's spine.

"I'm glad y're tellin' me. An' Yugi-- I'm glad y' apologized t' him." It's not quite-- conveying what he wants to say. As if Esteban's opinion is what matters here, when it clearly doesn't. But he wants-- he needs to offer something. A reassurance. A softness. A comfort in his pain.

"Y've come so far, love," he whispers against the crown of Seto's hair. "You've come so far from there. I love you."

It's not enough. But words fail him. They always fall so short when he needs them, always say too little for what Esteban wishes he could say. For Seto to have set his pride aside, his ruthlessness aside, and grown from that person into who he is now-- it must have taken so much effort. So much pain. Esteban wishes he could tell him how much it awes him that Seto is still trying. Still moving.

"I know, I..."

Seto could feel his face burning. It hurt...he hardly ever thought about all of this anymore, why did it hurt so much now? He didn't deserve mercy or kindness. A little pain and grief for what could've been had to come out, as if from a release valve. He shuddered.

"He planned to mold me into a weapon of aimless rage...but I went along with it. I let my need to win, win at all costs, drive me down that path---it almost broke Mokuba too. I can't ever get that time back. But...I can't fall down that hole again. It'd be even worse."

"Swallowed Gods, Seto!"

He's a little sharper than he means to be on the words, aching to do something, to move, to pace and fling his arms around in his mixed up feelings. To rant. But he's intricately aware that that would hurt Seto, and he's not willing to leave a scar on an already wounded heart.

"You were a kid." Full stop. That should be enough. That should be enough.

But Esteban knows his words aren't enough. He could try and deconstruct what he means by this-- but he couldn't even find the first sentence, nevermind explaining it out. He sighs, and he struggles, his arms holding his lover close, his hands still pressed against scarred skin. 'Dians.

"... I hate him," he mentions instead, trying to find a way to express this all. It darkens his voice and rolls low into his lungs, deepening his usually bright chirp. In his scorn, he still wants to touch, and Esteban traces his lips along the shell of his lover's ear.

"I hate him for what he's done t' you."

There's a soft shift, slow and low, to allow Seto to stop him if he wants, as Esteban rolls them over. He wants to hover over his love, wants to see him and his sea-depths eyes and the pale column of his neck. As an anchor. As a hold to push back the darkening clouds in Esteban's soul.

"Esteban..."

Seto feels a twinge of regret when he sees those stormy emotions in his boyfriend's eyes. He didn't mean to worry him so much. He allows Esteban to roll them, lying beneath him with lingering regret in his eyes.

He reaches up to trace Esteban's cheek, stroking the skin there to try to soothe him. He manages a fragile smile.

"I'm still here. The past can't be undone...but I'm going to stay out of the darkness, okay? I promise. With you here...that'll be easier than I ever hoped."

He pins Seto down. Arms bracing on each side of his ribs, Esteban pushes his shoulders up to stare openly at his love, to watch the torrent of his thoughts flicker through his eyes.

'Dians, he's-- he needs--

"I love you."

He means it. He means it. No matter what happened in Seto's past, Esteban loves him. But his love for him does not blot out the anger and the aches he's suffered, and the growth he's gone through does not erase the regret that lingers. He loves Seto so much.

His weight shifts so he can raise his fingers to trace along Seto's red-clad arm, pinning his hand up to his face so he can nuzzle into the touch. There is so much that he needs to say. So much he wants to say. But Esteban is clumsy and the words clutter up in his throat and the cage of his ribs is breaking under the slam of his heavy heart.

But he has to try.

"Y' were a kid, love." He manages with heavy words, scrambling to find the next ones to say. His eyes closes and his brows furrow as he blindly leans forwards to press their foreheads together, their noses near-touching.

"You-- y' don't--" Why is this always so hard? He just wants to help.

Esteban takes a deep, slow breath, and tries again.

"It's okay t' regret it-- No. I mean." He huffs, presses a tiny kiss to Seto's lips, just to let him know he's not allowed to speak, before he tries again. He has to say it properly.

"It's okay t' forgive y'rself, love." There! That! That's what he means to say!

"Y' can regret it-- it c'n sting, because you regret it. But I think it's okay t' forgive y'rself too."

Now that he's found the words, they flutter lightly on his lips, and Esteban draws back just a bit. His eyes open, warm and blue and summery, and his brows unfurl from their pinched up expression, softening his gaze.

"Y' were a kid!" He begins slowly. "An' yeah, y' fucked up. An' you grew up b'yond it. But don't let it weigh y' down like a stone either. Okay?" He breathes. Gently traces his nose along Seto's jaw, following the sharp jaunt of bone underneath thin skin.

Seto can only listen, trapped by the weight of what lingers between them now. It's almost too much, and his breaths are shallow. He worries, he wonders...

But he leans into the kisses, nuzzling against Esteban's hand and nodding slowly. His eyes are still wide open, gaze wavering a little...but it's okay. He's safe. He bears this burden, but it's manageable. More manageable every day.

"I'm still working on letting it go. I want to be better...for Mokuba, and for you. I'll try to forgive myself too. I'll keep trying, promise."

Alright. That's... alright.

Esteban teases a kiss onto Seto's cheek as he nods, eyes lighting up as he pushes himself just a bit further.

"An' I want you t' be happy, Seto." He grins, before his face scrunches up with his mischief, and he adds "I'm selfish like that, y'know?"

Sprawled all over him, just a tad heavy to bear, Esteban stretches like a cat on Seto's side, as he leans back so that he's not quite so heavy. A hand comes to grasp at his lover's hip gently, and even the soft pajama pants and underwear aren't enough to miss the way his thumb starts tracing half-moons again, the gesture a near-habit by now.

With his head on Seto's shoulder, Esteban grins openly, his hair messy from the shower and his skin an unabashed golden-amber in the late morning sunlight. At peace, and happy. He smiles again, warm and fuzzy and cuddly.

"I know I can be happy, with you to be the light of my life. I am, and I will be." Seto promises, a sliver of peace finally crossing his face. He cranes his neck to kiss Esteban again, reaching across to hold him as close as he can in this position.

He's safe and wanted...and his heart feels lighter.

"Thank you, my love," he whispers to him, nuzzling against his hair. It's a little awkward, laying on the hair extensions...and as he realizes something he laughs at his own silliness.

"...I want you so much. It's incredible."

The kiss curls, low and warm in Esteban's stomach, and he preens a bit, his eyes half-lidded under Seto's gentle touch. The lazy smile on his face is nearly all sunshine and comfort, and he presses an extra, tiny kiss to Seto's reddened lips when he breaks away.

"Y're welcome~" he murmurs in a low, smooth voice, before his grin grows a little crooked and a little more sharp.

"I toldja I was greedy an' selfish, love. Don't hold y'rself back on my account~" he teases, the hand at Seto's hip twisting easily to bypass the cloth covering him. It is. So much better to hold his skin. To feel his warmth directly. To touch him.

Esteban is so greedy, it's practically painful. But he's also okay with just this much. Just this. It feels so nice, to hold Seto close. To feel the soft nuzzle and gather his boyfriend against him, a hand down his pants. The hoodie between them a deep, dark red, with yellow-orange petals across his chest.

"Y're so gorgeous, y' knew that?" He's nearly drifting, hazy and warm and comfortable, his eyes half-closed as he grins, only just holding back from diving for another kiss. Or two. Or twenty.

'Dians, he can't tell if he wants a nap or if he wants to have sex with his boyfriend again. Both sound way too nice to pass up, it's unfair.

"You're not bad to look at either," Seto whispers back, eyes wandering and tongue licking his lips..oh. He's so beautiful. He feels the heat of his boyfriend's touch and aches with the need to touch more, another laugh bubbling out of him as he has this thought.

"...why'd I put clothes on, again? Feels silly now," he laughs, pressing another kiss to Esteban's hair. "But I'm right here...I'll be here all day."

It's a soft, gentle promise. That they have time.

"I mean~" Esteban's mischief sparks in his hooded eyes, bright and blue and gleaming.

"We got t' talk. Clothes helped with that." He snickers openly, before finding a sweet, reddened mark on Seto's shoulder, and dipping to lay his lips across it again.

"Def'nitely would-- ah- 've gotten d'stracted earlier. Without clothes." He's not. Trying to orient them towards more. Physical pursuits. But 'Dians, Esteban sure is getting... comfortable.

The hand at Seto's hip sweeps around to his back, where his palm lays flat underneath the drawstring, callouses pressed against vulnerable skin. He siddles up to his boyfriend openly, pressing himself to the comfortable, and might he say extremely nice smelling hoodie? His grin brightens his entire face, enough to be felt even through their-- Seto's-- clothes, while his lungs huff in barely concealed amusement.

"Y' smell nice~" he can't help but add, his eyes still closed and his nose still pressed into Seto's shoulder. He is. Far too enthusiastic now, and napping is slipping to be a distant idea at best. But he's also so comfy. This is literally agony, to have to choose an option.

"I'm so attractive I might distract you otherwise," Seto joins in the laughter, leaning over to kiss Esteban's temple. He loves the heated touches, pressing against him and silently asking for more warmth. Yes, he wants to be close to him, no matter what they do.

"But this is your scent, hm? Just means you've claimed me." In...multiple ways. They slowly intertwine, becoming one. And he's perfectly fine with that.

There's a heavy groan buried into his shoulder, and Esteban's breath catches with his shudder. There is a distinct breath that seeps through his lungs, a tiny bit of a sigh, before he manages to return something-- anything.

"Don't tease 'f y' wanna nap." Nevermind that the nap had been Esteban's idea. But he can blame Seto for distracting him. Distracting him deliciously, but distracting him nonetheless.

"An'-- I don't remember gettin' that hoodie on you yet," he snickers. "Love to! But y' claimed me. Don't mix this up." The distinction is important. Laughter huffs through his lungs in his mischief, and daringly, Esteban's hand skitters from the small of Seto's back upwards, drifting just a bit against his spine. He's quick to settle again, hand comfortably braced against his back once more.

Edited 2024-05-01 02:33 (UTC)

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